I was randomly researching keyword phrases for the term clutter a few months ago and I ran across some funny ones I just had to share with you. These are real search terms. I didn’t make them up! Enjoy:
Ativa Clutter Cutter MD 500: The Ativa Clutter Cutter MD 500 model is just what we all need. This amazing clutter cutter will slice, dice, shred, chop, mash and dispense of your clutter all in a few easy seconds while you lounge on the couch watching your favorite shows. The Ativa Clutter Cutter will cut your clutter in half, puree it and turn it into a delicious chocolate covered clutter souffle, perfect for your next party. Errr, let’s scratch all that. The Ativa Clutter Cutter is actually just a paper shredder with a high drama name. ;)
Boots Clutter: If you’re typing in the keyword phrase boots clutter, then honey, you got too much stuff! Boots should not be clutter. They’re functional foot apparal to get you from point a to point b. How many boots can one person have before they’ve crossed the line to desperately seeking information on how to handle their boots clutter? Toss the boots! Just say no to boots clutter. ;)
Country Clutter: Country clutter as opposed to urban clutter, or suburban clutter? I looked it up and these people don’t need any decluttering help. ;) Country Clutter is the name of a franchise, a country decor store, a song about love gone wrong, and at least two premium outlet chains in the U.S. Evidently there are clutterers the nation over who take their country clutter seriously. There’s no help for these people. They’re actively seeking more clutter. Moving on….
Clutter is Natural: Err. When I said this one out loud Patrick replied, “Somebody typed that in? The poor bastards.” Sounds like a little clutter denial might be happening with that keyword phrase. Perhaps someone was picked on by a family member, trying to get them to part with their stuff, and they came online looking for a scientific study to verify that their need to accumulate useless crap is all right, because it’s been proven…. clutter is natural. ;0
Coupon Clutter: Now when you’ve got coupon clutter, you’re in the grips. I had paper clutter like mad, and it’s a sensitive area I need to guard against, so I understand how coupon clutter could happen to the best of us, but could this new keyword phrase be the result of the extreme grocery hoarding, oops, I mean extreme couponing rage that’s been hitting the country by storm? Hmmm. Coupon clutter could be a sign of a bigger issue….
TSI Products 54215 Clutter Catcher: Holy shazam, they’ve come out with a clutter catcher! Awesome! Now while we’re all busy with our lives, we can leave our homes safe in the knowledge that the 54215 Clutter Catcher is busy chasing our clutter down and catching it. Whew~ I feel like I can relax now! Oh wait….. it’s a console clutter storer for cars. Never mind.
Gnome-Shell Unable to Initialize Clutter: Yes this is a real keyword phrase! I looked this one up and it was for the linux programming language. Evidently, even programming languages have clutter problems too. ;)
Hunter Gatherer Clutter: Hmmm. A term for a clutter personality type… or a general description of clutterer’s everywhere? This one was worth searching out, because I discovered this delightful read about a Clutter/Hoarding Workshop experience from Jacquie Phelan’s blog. Jacquie was new to me, and a curious delight. Must remember to go back and read more. ;)
Clutter as Art: Ewww. Clutter Art? Could I open my mind enough to accept that? I dug around and found this intriguing piece by Robert Kemodle about Art and Clutter. I found myself inspired and agreeing, though Patrick didn’t share my admiration for the piece. Check it out if you have time and want to transcend to a different world paradigm for a moment. I totally get Robert on this piece and I felt that way back when I was producing physical art as well. Here’s an excerpt from Robert, ”Art is really a higher form of pollution and a burden to society, when it reaches a certain density. An artist today cannot afford the luxury of being prolific. Ethically, he/she has a duty to limit production, just as parents have a duty in an overpopulated world to limit their number of offspring.” If you’ve got the time, it’s worth the read. ;)
Clutter Eats Equity: I went into this keyword phrase not sure what to expect, and I was amused to discover that even the home staging business has now been occupied. Yeah! Kathy Burke, home stager extraordinarre, wrote an amazing piece on home staging with beautiful before and after pictures that exemplify how to bring peace and serenity to a slightly off-kiltered feeling space. I loved her photos and I bet you will too. (Err, perhaps, home staging is just something that excites me. I did it for a friend once when they were moving and I had a ridiculous blast with it…. and yes, their house sold very quickly after the staging! Woot! Woot!)
Clutter Begin Repeat: A place where they speak Greek. WTF? I have met my clutter keyword match. No comprende. None at all.
Breaking the Clutter: Ahhh. Sometimes it feels like breaking the clutter is the only thing to do. Or breaking our connection to it, if not physically breaking it. As Bliss said recently, (down in the comments) Stuff is Exhausting. Stuff is exhausting, and sometimes the best thing to do is to break it, burn it, or throw it away. Sometimes the best thing to do is to hold onto it. But a lot of times, the clutter we really think we need the most, is clutter that’s just holding us back.
My quick clutter keyword research wasn’t just for fun and games. I was looking to see if there really is enough demand for the subject. Despite the funny keywords above, I did discover a world of people searching for the answers to their clutter messes. Hope you enjoyed this light trip into the world of clutter search phrases and remember, no fancy gadget, even if it’s got the name Ativa Clutter Cutter MD 500 can get rid of your junk for you… you got put it in the donation bag yourself.
Until next time, cheers!