I was randomly researching keyword phrases for the term clutter a few months ago and I ran across some funny ones I just had to share with you. These are real search terms. I didn’t make them up! Enjoy:
Ativa Clutter Cutter MD 500: The Ativa Clutter Cutter MD 500 model is just what we all need. This amazing clutter cutter will slice, dice, shred, chop, mash and dispense of your clutter all in a few easy seconds while you lounge on the couch watching your favorite shows. The Ativa Clutter Cutter will cut your clutter in half, puree it and turn it into a delicious chocolate covered clutter souffle, perfect for your next party. Errr, let’s scratch all that. The Ativa Clutter Cutter is actually just a paper shredder with a high drama name. ;)
Boots Clutter: If you’re typing in the keyword phrase boots clutter, then honey, you got too much stuff! Boots should not be clutter. They’re functional foot apparal to get you from point a to point b. How many boots can one person have before they’ve crossed the line to desperately seeking information on how to handle their boots clutter? Toss the boots! Just say no to boots clutter. ;)
Country Clutter: Country clutter as opposed to urban clutter, or suburban clutter? I looked it up and these people don’t need any decluttering help. ;) Country Clutter is the name of a franchise, a country decor store, a song about love gone wrong, and at least two premium outlet chains in the U.S. Evidently there are clutterers the nation over who take their country clutter seriously. There’s no help for these people. They’re actively seeking more clutter. Moving on….
Clutter is Natural: Err. When I said this one out loud Patrick replied, “Somebody typed that in? The poor bastards.” Sounds like a little clutter denial might be happening with that keyword phrase. Perhaps someone was picked on by a family member, trying to get them to part with their stuff, and they came online looking for a scientific study to verify that their need to accumulate useless crap is all right, because it’s been proven…. clutter is natural. ;0
Coupon Clutter: Now when you’ve got coupon clutter, you’re in the grips. I had paper clutter like mad, and it’s a sensitive area I need to guard against, so I understand how coupon clutter could happen to the best of us, but could this new keyword phrase be the result of the extreme grocery hoarding, oops, I mean extreme couponing rage that’s been hitting the country by storm? Hmmm. Coupon clutter could be a sign of a bigger issue….
TSI Products 54215 Clutter Catcher: Holy shazam, they’ve come out with a clutter catcher! Awesome! Now while we’re all busy with our lives, we can leave our homes safe in the knowledge that the 54215 Clutter Catcher is busy chasing our clutter down and catching it. Whew~ I feel like I can relax now! Oh wait….. it’s a console clutter storer for cars. Never mind.
Gnome-Shell Unable to Initialize Clutter: Yes this is a real keyword phrase! I looked this one up and it was for the linux programming language. Evidently, even programming languages have clutter problems too. ;)
Hunter Gatherer Clutter: Hmmm. A term for a clutter personality type… or a general description of clutterer’s everywhere? This one was worth searching out, because I discovered this delightful read about a Clutter/Hoarding Workshop experience from Jacquie Phelan’s blog. Jacquie was new to me, and a curious delight. Must remember to go back and read more. ;)
Clutter as Art: Ewww. Clutter Art? Could I open my mind enough to accept that? I dug around and found this intriguing piece by Robert Kemodle about Art and Clutter. I found myself inspired and agreeing, though Patrick didn’t share my admiration for the piece. Check it out if you have time and want to transcend to a different world paradigm for a moment. I totally get Robert on this piece and I felt that way back when I was producing physical art as well. Here’s an excerpt from Robert, ”Art is really a higher form of pollution and a burden to society, when it reaches a certain density. An artist today cannot afford the luxury of being prolific. Ethically, he/she has a duty to limit production, just as parents have a duty in an overpopulated world to limit their number of offspring.” If you’ve got the time, it’s worth the read. ;)
Clutter Eats Equity: I went into this keyword phrase not sure what to expect, and I was amused to discover that even the home staging business has now been occupied. Yeah! Kathy Burke, home stager extraordinarre, wrote an amazing piece on home staging with beautiful before and after pictures that exemplify how to bring peace and serenity to a slightly off-kiltered feeling space. I loved her photos and I bet you will too. (Err, perhaps, home staging is just something that excites me. I did it for a friend once when they were moving and I had a ridiculous blast with it…. and yes, their house sold very quickly after the staging! Woot! Woot!)
Clutter Begin Repeat: A place where they speak Greek. WTF? I have met my clutter keyword match. No comprende. None at all.
Breaking the Clutter: Ahhh. Sometimes it feels like breaking the clutter is the only thing to do. Or breaking our connection to it, if not physically breaking it. As Bliss said recently, (down in the comments) Stuff is Exhausting. Stuff is exhausting, and sometimes the best thing to do is to break it, burn it, or throw it away. Sometimes the best thing to do is to hold onto it. But a lot of times, the clutter we really think we need the most, is clutter that’s just holding us back.
***
My quick clutter keyword research wasn’t just for fun and games. I was looking to see if there really is enough demand for the subject. Despite the funny keywords above, I did discover a world of people searching for the answers to their clutter messes. Hope you enjoyed this light trip into the world of clutter search phrases and remember, no fancy gadget, even if it’s got the name Ativa Clutter Cutter MD 500 can get rid of your junk for you… you got put it in the donation bag yourself.
Until next time, cheers!
Tanja
Oh this post made me laugh. I know have images of vace men atyle hunters sneaking up and capturing clutter and mad robots tearing round houses eating all the clutter in sight
samantha recently posted..Dreams and Signs from Spirit
This is hilarious Tanja! And I have to say, I was stoked to “hear” your voice come across my email this week. :)
I hope you and Patrick are doing well in Fayetteville. I’m sorry to hear about the problems with food co-op.
And I hope this post is your way of saying you’re considering a clutter writing comeback! ;-)
Jenny @ Ex-Consumer recently posted..Confession Time: Sometimes Living with Less Stinks
Glad to see you’re back! Funny article!.
I am glad you are sharing with us occasionally. It is nice to hear from you again!
Hey everyone,
I had this one waiting in the wings for a while and decided this was the perfect moment to unleash it on all of you. Glad everyone enjoyed it. ;) Jenny, I may be making a miniature clutter writing comeback, but nothing super regular. I’m working full-time now and I find it takes most of my time and energy. I am thinking of putting something out around once a month or so though. I keep getting people asking if I’m still working on a second book and it’s spurring me along. ;)
Great to read you again! : ) Hope you will post at least once a month. But I agree, it can be exhausting to post regularly while working and trying to have a life.
Mistress Bliss recently posted..weekly photo challenge ~~ purple
Hi Tanja! It’s good to see you back blogging again. What did you do with the tiny house you built in Florida – any plans to try to move it?
It’s fun looking at search terms. Some of them make you wonder just how did someoene decide to type that exact word combination – especially when you see multiple hits from the same unlikely phrase.
Anyway, welcome back to the blogosphere!
Mike | Homeless On Wheels recently posted..Minimalist Living and Subscriptions
Yeah! So good to see you back in blogger world!
So good to ‘see’ you again, Tanja. Hope life is treating you well, even with all the hints of life changes going on for you. Hugs!
Hey Tanja! Great to “see” you again and loved this post! Thanks for the laughs this morning :)
It’s a huge collection of so many cool stuffs! I don’t like to waste more times for cooking so it’s the best option for me. I’ll try my best to collect few of this set. Thanks Tanja for sharing about the clutters.
Oh this post made me laugh. Funny article!.
So good to ‘see’ you again… Funny article!!
Oh, my tummy is aching because I laugh on your post. You really have collected these many keywords. I salute you on that.
Perhaps, I couldn’t collect all these terms because I don’t have guts searching these keywords. I really don’t know searching several keywords as many as these.
Sharon Precourt recently posted..7 Benefits of Automated Forex Trading Systems
Very good article. I had so much fun reading about the clutters. I’ll try doing it too.
Welcome back Tanja.
Mercy Bates recently posted..The Risk of Weighing Too Much
I have fun reading your keywords about clutter. For sure you exert thorough research on this. I salute you for collecting these all.
Great post….
Allicia Tresch recently posted..Three Common Health Issues that affect everyone
Tanja! So good to hear from you! I was so sad whenever I’d check up and see no new post… but I understand that real life is a ton better. I update sporadically so I’m not one to talk, haha ;D
That article, “Robert Kemodle about Art and Clutter”, IT REALLY speaks to me! I’ve been thinking about this for the past year, actually, and have been discouraged from making physical art – and I’ve been scanning in majority of my old sketches that I’m not as attached to anymore, instead keeping only a few of my favorites in a clearbook. (If parents can do that for their kids’ art projects, why can’t I be my own parent since I’m still a child at heart? ;D) I do feel a sort of artist’s guilt when I have no idea what do to with the works I’ve created, especially if they don’t sell… hmmm.
Mel recently posted..Control, alt, delete.
Hi, Tanja. I read your different cluster keywords and I really got a lot of ideas with this post.
Kimberly Sewell recently posted..Anyone who suffers from arthritis should read this
Wow. You really amazed me on your clutter keywords. In fact, I got a lot of new words here about clutter.
Zylika Ifans recently posted..Fight Fat and Win!
Hi, I’m a minimalist blogger and I really enjoy your site. I’ve nominated your blog for the One Lovely Blog Award!
Here are the Rules of Acceptance:
• Thank the person/people who nominated you and link back to them in your post.
• Share seven possibly unknown things about yourself.
• Nominate 15 or so bloggers you admire.
• Contact the chosen bloggers to let them know you have nominated them and link back to them.
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hey girl! another wonderful post. once a month is fine. quality over quantity!
although yours have always all been quality.
i especially liked the robert kemodle link!! i’ve thought that for a long time.
but it’s almost like sacrilege to say something like that aloud.
7 billion people and counting. maybe just another matter of overpopulation? lol.
stay cool in fayetteville!
tammy j
Somehow this post missed my inbox so im so glad i check back here every few months. I hope you two (4 with the pets) are doing well and happy. I miss your blog sooooo much! Im sure i speak for many when i say you intoduced me to a minimalist lifestyle that has made me happier than i have ever been! I have even gotten the DH to simplify and he said a few weeks ago “i like how uncluttered the house looks.” Thank you Thank you Thank you. :)
I really enjoyed reading the cluster keywords. You did a really nice job compiling that list. Perhaps I will apply them in real life sometime.
Hillary Mason recently posted..Kim Kardashian Impressive Physique
It is good to learn something new everyday. I am glad you shared the words with us. Thanks!
Eugene Dexter recently posted..Kim Kardashian on Forbes List
Thanks for sharing that with us great article and love the spin on clutter!